Scandal-ridden charity Oxfam has decided to close the doors on its Aid Worker recruitment centre based in the Balearic holiday resort of Magaluf.
The move has been seen as an effort by Oxfam to distance itself from the negative media image caused by the recent sex scandals. In a press release from the organisation, it was noted that “in retrospect, our efforts to recruit young aid volunteers overstepped the mark. Our team bonding methods descended below the standards expected of an international organisation such as ours, and a restructuring is underway.”
Kev Harrington, Oxfam’s Snapchat Engagement Coordinator, was philosophical about the closure. “I guess all good things come to an end, we had some epic bantz, met some utter ledges. Like when we met up with the Save The Children rugger squad and the lads from World Vision, we tore Magaluf a new ar*ehole that night, lost count of the number of times I got teabagged in exchange for a shot of Apple Sourz. Although I’m proper gutted I won’t get to go on any long haul jollies now, it was only the hardcore heads allowed into war zones. You weren’t even considered unless you could do 5 back-to-back beer bongs without a “TC” (*tactical chunder).”
We interviewed an experienced aid worker, who wished to be known simply as “Bantersaurus Rex” to protect his identity, who claimed that the ‘lad culture’ was endemic within the aid agency sector. “I’m not surprised Oxfam is being singled out, all that stuff about wealth inequality and ending tax evasion, it was only a matter of time before the rich and powerful dished some dirt on them to shut them up. But the truth was, they were pure lightweights. Their gaff in Magaluf was like a convent compared our CAFOD base in Ayia Napa. When we got to “clunge o’clock” every day, if you didn’t go out and ruin some bird’s ham wallet, you’d be on the next Ryanair home”
CAFOD were unavailable for comment.
