Everton manager Sam Allardyce unveiled a new Everton kit last night, although it was unclear whether it was to be an official shirt for the forthcoming season.
Allardyce has made a favourable impact on the Toffees since signed a short-term contract mid-way through the season, having achieved a seven-game unbeaten run after taking over in November last year. ‘Big Sam’ as he is affectionately known, came out of retirement just at the right time for Everton, who had hovered dangerously close to the relegation zone earlier in the season.
However, some of his tactics have drawn criticism as being out-dated, sometimes slowing down the game by becoming too defensive. Big Sam hit back at the critics by saying “I don’t know what they’re on about, we’re a modern team, we’ve got yoga and computers and all sorts. Saying that -there’s nothing wrong with long balls, or 4-4-2, or parking a bus in front of the goal every now and then. It’s all about mixing it up a bit, summat old, summat new”
When asked about the shirt design and the choice of sponsor, Allardyce responded “It was my Yogi’s idea, to be honest. He thought we could channel our chakras by focusing on the spirit of the last time Everton were any good, back in 1985. Which is why I thought Gregg’s the Bakers would be an ideal sponsor.”
He continued “We need a bit of red meat back in the squad. Half-time these days is all about isotonic drinks and protein bars, which just isn’t natural. What they all need is a Gregg’s Steak & Kidney Slice followed by a quick Happy Baby Pose on the old yoga mat so they’re not guffing all over the pitch.”
When asked about the official status of the kit, Big Sam explained “I haven’t shown ‘them upstairs’ yet, but they’ll see sense, I’m too close to retirement. They know I’m ready to drop it all in a heartbeat and take the missus on a cruise to Mauritius.”
