KCNA, the state-owned news agency of North Korea, reported today that glorious leader, Kim Jong-un, was greeted by millions of well-wishers in a victory parade through the streets of the capital, Pyongyang. Pictures were not published of the parade itself, a criticism the KCNA claimed was to ‘protect the respectful innocence of the many beautiful unmarried women that were throwing themselves at the glorious leader’s feet’.
The Winter Olympics, recently held in South Korea, had been used as an opportunity for diplomacy on the peninsula between the North and South countries. The two nations have officially been at war since the 1950s, so attempts to use the Olympics as a way of progressing good relations have been generally seen as successful.
North Korea’s agency has gone a step further with their reportage, to celebrate the Olympic ‘victories’ of leader Kim Jong-un, an alleged 7-medal haul across various disciplines, including – Winter Pentathlon, Speed Skiing, Halfpipe Ballet, Wild Duck Shooting, Horseback Bobsleigh, Rockfish Whispering, and Mountain Lifting. They also claim that there was no live TV coverage of these disciplines because of ‘contemptable interference by agents of the US imperialists’.
Tonight’s celebrations in Pyongyang will include allowing all 2.5 million residents to have mains electricity until the unusually late time of 9 p.m.
