Horse wins £43m PPE contract

Recent investigations into coronavirus PPE procurement by the UK government have revealed various links to leading figures in the Conservative Party.

One such investigation followed a contract worth £43 million for the supply of PPE masks from a company called “Fillies, Farriers & Face masks” registered in Panama to a company director called Dick Doughtywylie.

Helen Bingham QC, of cronywatch.org.uk, recently published on her blog her findings surrounding the search for this elusive character. She ultimately discovered that the director was in fact, a horse, known for winning the Blue Square Cavalry Charge at Newmarket in 2012.

The horse’s owner, the Secretary of State for Health, Matt Hancock, said “I have every faith in Dick” to journalists waiting in Downing Street, before being hastily driven away.

The Mersey Gazette can reveal, after a freedom of information request sent to the government, that the consignment of masks supplied by “Fillies, Farriers & Face masks” were rejected by the NHS, on the grounds that they were unsuitable and “looked more like nosebags”.

*Update – Dick Doughtywylie has since been awarded a further government contract for supply of specialist vaccine refrigeration units