Sanders accepts Drag Race judge role “so long as he can get to the post office by 5”

United States senator Bernie Sanders has allegedly been headhunted for the role of a judge in the next series of Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Producers of the show contacted Sanders after he had inadvertently started the “Gramps chic” fashion trend this week, by turning up to the US presidential inauguration wearing hand-knitted mittens large enough to smuggle cats. Sanders has allegedly agreed so long as he could “get to the post office by 5”.

Aides of Sanders have said to the press that “Bernie seems quite perplexed” over his new-found attention in the world of fashion and glamour, particularly of the approach by Paris Hilton’s fashion label wanting to launch a version of his antique hand-warmers called “Chittens” (or “chihuahua mittens”) as part of their winter collection.

Sanders has also stated that he was looking forward to engaging with his new youth audience on the subjects of his fiduciary responsibility to comprehensive fiscal stimulus and restoring Glass–Steagall legislation.